Extended Orgasm Part 2

Touching a Man

So now we have some advice for a woman who’s pleasuring a man. You can excite a man quite easily by caressing him gently and softly anywhere around his genitals, thighs and lower abdomen. Using massage oil, such as high-quality almond or olive oil, will make the experience more pleasurable.

You may find this works better if you are in a loving relationship with a man, but on the other hand, if you simply trust each other (and perhaps respect each other), it should also work well enough).

You can even use the application of the oil as part of the erotic stimulation. Start by applying the oil all over his penis, erect or not.

Start at the base of the shaft and end at the head; experiment with twisting your cupped hand around the head of his cock to find out which area is the most sensitive; encourage him to feed back his experience to you, if not in words, at least with sounds which indicate how he is enjoying the experience.

The principle is the same as when a man is pleasuring a woman, that is to say, you need to touch his cock for the pleasure it gives you in your fingers and hand. If you start caressing his penis thinking of the pleasure you’re giving to him, it may be a much less satisfactory experience.

One of the reasons for this is that when you’re feeling his cock with the intention of experiencing pleasuring in your own hand, you’re putting a different intention into the experience, and you’re adopting a different attitude to pleasure giving. Although that is not the entire basis of a relationship it is certainly a firm foundation.

You should also remember that even if his penis isn’t hard, it is still capable of giving him great pleasure and possibly even bringing him to orgasm, whether or not he has an erection.

Stroking with the intention of making your hand feel good ensures that you maintain contact with his penis at all times, which will increase the chances of his becoming hard if he is not already erect when you start, and it will diminish the chances of him losing the sense of stimulation because your hand isn’t applying enough pressure.

There are many strokes that you can use when you are aiming to pleasure a man: simple up-and-down strokes of the shaft, twirling your hand and fingers around the top of his penis, using different pressures for the shaft and the head of his penis (that is to say, lighter nearer the top).

If you’re experiencing any difficulty in knowing what to do to give him pleasure, spend some time watching him masturbate himself and see what he does.

Be careful though, because often when a man masturbates his objective is to get to orgasm as quickly as possible. As you know, that is definitely not the objective here, where your intention is to draw out his pleasure for as long as possible.

This can be done by applying strokes which are firm enough to give him great pleasure but not firm enough to bring him to orgasm.

And when you do want to bring him to a massive orgasm it’s easy enough to do this by increasing the speed and pressure of your stroke.

Video – extended orgasm

Video: extended orgasm

It is therefore important that you make sure that you’re in control, and that you are not influenced by him begging you to let him come before you’re ready: there’s much more pleasure to be gained by spinning the experience out than by bringing it to a close quickly, and as an added bonus his orgasm will be much more pleasurable when it finally does occur after long stimulation.

The most sensitive area of a man’s penis is often around the frenulum on the underneath of the head, or glans, near the tip. Watch out for a man who has hypospadias, though, a condition where the opening of the penis is not at the end of the glans, but somewhere along the undersurface of the glans or shaft.

This condition is reasonably common, so if you come across a man whose penis doesn’t conform to the expected structure, then simply ask him what’s pleasurable for him and let him guide you in touching his penis in a way that causes no discomfort.

If a man seems to be objecting to the fact that you’re not giving enough stimulation using hard and fast strokes, let him learn gradually that slow strokes may be more pleasurable, and intersperse what you’re doing with short periods of harder and faster strokes — however, avoid bringing him to orgasm. (See more about the anatomy of the penis here.)

If you maintain the the extended stroking experience he will have just as much or much more pleasure than he does with a rapid masturbation technique.

The technique of peaking works with men as well as women: you can stop stroking just before he’s ready to come, let his arousal drop, and then resume stroking so that you raise him to an even higher peak next time. Here’s some great advice on increasing male sexual pleasure.

To do this keep using the same stroke: if you change what you’re doing it tends to reduce the stimulation he receives, and so his arousal and therefore his pleasure may also drop.

Once again, consistency, clarity of purpose, and firmness of intent are vital to giving a man a good experience, just as they are when a man is pleasuring a woman. If you want to deliberately reduce his level of arousal, change the stroke to bring his arousal down. This is a good way of learning to delay orgasm, and to prevent premature ejaculation for all men, even those with a lot of self-control.

If you want to stop him reaching orgasm and ejaculating, you could squeeze his penis fairly firmly using your thumb on the underside and your fingers on the top side, placed one above and one below the coronal rim.

Bear in mind however that if you do this, you’ll certainly lower his arousal considerably. And although it will almost certainly stop him reaching orgasm it means you’ll have some more work to do to bring him back to the same level of arousal that he was at before you squeezed his penis.

An alternative strategy is to have him bring the sexual energy up his body by breathing up his body, while at the same time clenching his PC muscle.

A third option is for you to press into the area between his scrotum and anus, at a point where you notice a small dimple, though this may require fairly heavy pressure.

Of course if you notice quickly enough or early enough that he’s going to come, then simply lessen the pressure or remove your hand from his penis altogether, or change your stroke to bring him down.

All in all, have fun: learn what he likes, and experiment with different strokes so that you can find one that brings his arousal up most reliably. For example, just try short strokes on his glans alone, or even just rub over the rim of his coronal ridge. Alternatively, use really long strokes all the way up the shaft, lessening the pressure as you pass over the top of his penis. If you feel so inclined, lubricate his anus and play with that too – but only if he’s in agreement with the idea.

You can also rub his penis between the palms of your hands, or you can move his foreskin back and forth over his glans. Play with his perineum, or stroke along his hidden penis, the root of his penis, which lies beyond his scrotum towards his anus just under the surface of his perineum.

There are many ways in which can be creative and play with his penis, as it is designed to give you both fun and pleasure.

You can both decide whether he’s going to ejaculate before the session starts, or during the session. Sometimes you’ll find it very worthwhile simply to enjoy taking him to higher and higher peaks of sexual arousal and pleasure without ejaculating at all.

In the Tantric tradition, of course, a man develops his ability to reach orgasm without ejaculation, and if you try this yourself, you may find that if you’re spreading the energy around his body at the same time as you’re massaging his erect cock, he achieves an orgasm without ejaculating.

On the other hand, it’s great fun to ejaculate a man when he’s so aroused that he’s begging for release. You can extend his pleasure for only a few strokes, or you can extend it for as long as you’re able to before his need to ejaculate is too great.

How to overcome Delayed Ejaculation

If he’s developed a high degree of ejaculatory control, you may find that he leaks semen without squirting in the manner of a normal ejaculation. In this case, his penis may remain hard, and he may experienced orgasmic pulsations for an extended period of time.

One of the keys to making a success of this experience is to ensure that his body is as relaxed as possible, and that he’s not tensing up in the way that he would tend to do if he was ejaculating during sexual intercourse.

And finally, if you do feel that you want to ejaculate him, it can be great fun to do so – and it may be highly arousing for you when you do it. In which case, don’t miss out on the opportunity of feeling yourself at the same time to ensure you get maximum pleasure from the experience.

Always ask him whether he prefers a firm pressure as he comes, especially if he’s ejaculating; most men will want you to lessen the pressure on the penis, but only after they’ve really got into their orgasm — if you lessen the pressure too soon it can detract markedly from the pleasure.

One of things that can really make this pleasurable for a man is a lack of inhibition on the part of the woman. So, for example, if you feel able to, get naked with him while you do this. Make sure that you communicate with him so that he knows what your intentions are, and so that you know what he’s experiencing while you pleasure him.

If he is not somebody who finds communication easily, then you have to encourage him to talk, so that you know whether or not you’re doing is actually working for him in his experience of extended orgasm.

So for example you might take your clothes off and lie down next to him, starting the experience by touching all around his penis and testicles, thighs and lower abdomen.

If you want to suck his penis, don’t do it just because it’s a way of avoiding real intimacy with him: do it because you are engaging in a sensual erotic experience, and pleasure him with your hand whilst you continue to play around the end of his penis with your lips and tongue. Again, this is a great way of stopping premature ejaculation.

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