Extended Orgasm – Training From Effect (1)

Training from Effect

One of the keys to success in extended orgasm is being able to communicate effectively with your partner. There is a simple straightforward way in which you can do this. It’s a system that also works in many situations including everyday life outside the bedroom, not just when you’re a man who wants to know how to make a woman orgasm.

Now, I feel obliged to point out that focusing on the objective of giving your partner an orgasm at the expense of your own pleasure is not a good thing. For one thing, if you do not pay attention to your own level of arousal, your own place on the sexual arousal cycle, you may not realize how near (or, less likely) far away from orgasm and ejaculation you actually are.

This means that you will not be attuned to your partner’s level of arousal, and you won’t sense the interplay of your arousal and hers. That means you are much less likely to be able to effectively control your climax. So if premature ejaculation is an issue for you you may want to get some guidance on this matter.

To get somebody to work with you most effectively, it’s always helpful to use the following system of communication.

Start by saying something positive, expressed in a way so it’s clear to your partner that you’re sharing the experience with them and you understand their experience. Next, ask them for whatever it is that you wish them to do, and next acknowledge their response as soon as they’ve made it, and finally express anything that you would wish to be done differently in the future.

So for example, if you wanted somebody to handle your clitoris differently during the extended orgasm process, you might start by saying “You’re really good at what you’re doing.”

The next step would be to say something like “I enjoy sharing this experience with you and I understand how much it means to you and how exciting it is for you when you put your finger in my vagina.”

After this you could say “I wonder if you could just pay attention to my clitoris alone?” As soon as the person pleasuring you responds to this, whether it’s a large or small response, you can acknowledge them by saying something like “It feels wonderful when you rub so gently on my pearl.”

If it goes wrong, and you find that instead of rubbing, to take an extreme example, your clitoris that they’re actually fondling your vaginal opening, you can go back to the first step and say something like: “You have such a nice touch.”

Read more about communication during sex.

The next step is to go back to step two, and say “I wonder if you’d mind rubbing about two inches higher on my clitoris?” and as soon as they are heading in the right direction, you can reward them and reinforce their actions by saying something like “Now that feels absolutely wonderful, you just found my clitoris sensitive spot.”

This is non-judgmental communication, and it’s also non-violent communication, in the sense that it doesn’t contain any aggression and it’s entirely compassionate. It’s by far the best way to engage with somebody when you’re actually trying to go through a process that requires the most intimate communication on all levels between the two of you. It’s just up to you to find a way in which to communicate effectively so that you get the outcome you want.

One of the problems with this is that people forget to use the approval step, so make sure that you only give one instruction at a time, and try not to confuse the issue by asking for more than one thing to be changed at once.

Don’t, for example, ask to be rubbed higher, harder and faster all the same time. Only one or two of these things need to happen at once. You will need to separate the individual components of your request and apply the communication method described above individually. So keep it simple and just deal with one thing at a time.

The point is that the more the person who’s pleasuring you feels approved of, and the more they perceive you to be thankful for what they’re doing, the more willing they will be to follow your next request or instruction.

So make sure that you precede and follow each request with some expression of approval and thanks. That way harmony is going to be maintained and you’re going to get a good outcome — and so is the person who’s pleasuring you.

So you might want to practice this communication method before you start going for the extended orgasm, using it while you stimulate some area of your body that is not as sensitive as your genitals: it’s a very good idea to do this because it allows you to establish greater intimacy and connection as well. if there are any delays in ejaculation or related problems, this website can be helpful.

And don’t forget to use this communication tool in all situations, not just sexual ones, because by doing so you’ll be adding positivity to the world, and you’ll certainly be adding  harmony and light in the lives of people you meet.

I’ve already mentioned that one of the keys to actually having a successful extended orgasm experience is to stay in the present.

Video – staying present during sex

This means you’re not thinking about what’s happening in the world outside the bedroom (if that’s where you’re having the extended orgasm experience). And it means that your partner isn’t thinking about anything out of the zone either. (The zone simply being a word meaning the emotional, physical and spiritual space in which you’re enjoying your experience of extended orgasm together).

What you need to aim for is a state where you’re thinking about nothing except what is happening between you and your partner and your pleasure, both physical and mental. Now, paradoxically, talking to your partner is actually not a bad way to keep your attention on what you’re doing and your focus in the present moment.

So for example, if you’re a man pleasuring woman, and you’re feeling aroused and excited by what is happening in front of you, why not feed it back to her? So for example you might want to say things like:

  • “Your labia are beautiful, and they have turned a deep purple-red color.”
  • “Your clitoris is so big, it’s twice the normal size.”
  • “I can feel your clitoris extending and poking out like it wants to see what’s happening”
  • “Your clitoris is extending out from the hood, it looks very looking beautiful and extremely sexy.”
  • “I feel your clitoris getting erect.”

Don’t make these statements labored, just simply enjoy telling your partner what you’re seeing and feeling: “Your scent is delightful and it’s really turning me on”;  “I can see you glowing with energy and pleasure”; “My cock is responding to the excitement of feeling your cunt”; “Your breasts are sexy and they’re really turning me on”; “I can feel the energy of your clitoris in my finger and it’s spreading all the way through me to my cock”; “Your pussy smells fantastic and your juice tastes sweet”; “You’re oozing ejaculate and it’s really turning me on.”

Intimate words during sex.

Obviously the exact sort of statements you use in this situation will depend on the level of intimacy that you have with your partner, so you want to make sure that what you say to her is appropriate to your relationship and the situation you’re sharing.

You also want to try and encourage your partner to express how they’re feeling, using words that are clear and to the point, because if they think too hard they’ll take themselves out of the experience.

It doesn’t have to be complicated language, and it’s good to hear them say what’s on their mind because that will help them stay in the experience, and stay with you whilst you give that experience to them.

It’s all about staying in the present. Also, communicating the level of pleasure they’re experiencing helps them to acknowledge and absorb it, so that they can better appreciate it.

It’s also helpful if you acknowledge the pleasure that you’re feeling as you stimulate your partner and take them to an extended climax during sex. Getting control of your ejaculatory reflex is better for everyone during sex – it provides considerably more pleasure.

This is such an intimate experience, and it can serve as a model for everyday life: appreciation, understanding and acknowledgement of the efforts people make for each other can change relationships. It will benefit both of you to offer as much positive encouragement and acknowledgement as you can while staying firmly in the moment and enjoying the sex you’re experiencing with each other.

While you’re in the midst of the experience, don’t start comparing this sexual experience with previous ones or making judgments about how the experience should or could feel. It is what it is, and it is to be enjoyed in the moment. This doesn’t mean that you can’t issue instructions to your partner. You certainly can, and it will properly help the experience if you do, because as we’ve mentioned before, you’re demonstrating that you’re in charge and what your intentions are.

So, express with great clarity things that you feel would help such as telling your partner: relax your body; relax into my hand; let go; be fully in your body; pay attention to everything that is happening to you in your body; focus on how you’re feeling; Just give me your body; let me take care of you; Just enjoy what you’re experiencing; There’s no pressure on you here.

Such statements show the person who is being pleasured that they don’t have to put any effort into the process – they just need to listen, occasionally express what they’re feeling, and respond to what their bodies with acceptance and enjoyment. Then, they’ll be able to enjoy a higher level of sensation every time you peak them.

And as you pleasure them, make sure you don’t acknowledge any mistakes you’ve made or give the impression that you’ve slipped up. This site has many great ideas 

Even if you do slip up, or make a mistake, you can always pretend that it was deliberate, so that your partner retains full confidence in your ability. It’s important that you don’t limit the experience of the person you’re pleasuring by having low expectations, or even by being frightened of what they’re experiencing.

For example, no matter how massive their orgasmic experience seems to be, make sure you are relaxed about it: encourage them, help them to feel that they can make a mess if they’re going to ejaculate, that’s it doesn’t matter, and that they can fill the room with their orgasm if they wish to!

Any doubts that person being pleasured has about you will cause them to transfer energy from their orgasm into an energetic defense to protect themselves against the feeling that you can’t be trusted or you don’t know what you’re doing. That may be very relevant in cases of delayed or premature ejaculation.

Also, leave your ego outside the room and pick it up later as you leave — that helps to make sure that you’re not putting any pressure on yourself or your partner to have an orgasm, rather than just make yourself feel good.

If at any point during an extended orgasm experience you begin to realize that you’re not focusing on what’s happening in the room in front of you, take a break and talk to your partner; if you’re not fully present, it’s quite likely that your partner is not fully present either, and the sooner you can both establish new connection and get back into the moment the better.

If you feel your partner’s gone away and you want to take a break to re-establish connection with them it’s quite acceptable to acknowledge with them what’s going on.

You might even want to evaluate the orgasmic experience up tit that point, so that both of you know what your intentions are when you restart stimulation.

Discussing what happened after it’s finished is also a good idea because you can get feedback which will help the process next time you go through it, and you can add acknowledgement and appreciation for both your efforts. Focusing on what went well, what you enjoyed, is good because it will allow you to remember these things and use them next time you start working towards extended climax.

 

This entry was posted in extended orgasm. Bookmark the permalink.