Peaking – The Art Of Extended Orgasm

Men and Women, Sex and Orgasm

Peaking

Video available only on Youtube

As you may have realized by now, the main way men know to make a woman orgasm is called climax peaking.

It’s basically a way of maintaining arousal for much longer than it would normally last, by delaying the final orgasmic peak that releases the sexual tension and advancing towards it with a whole series of smaller peaks, each one larger than the last, on the way to the final orgasmic crescendo.

Each time that you bring the person you’re pleasuring to a peak, you back off slightly and allow their arousal to drop before you take them back up to a higher peak. It’s a similar technique for both men and women; and the essence of it is that you do not continuously rub the clitoris or penis, but you take small breaks.

This is because continual rubbing, as any man who’s tried to bring a woman to orgasm by continually stimulating her clitoris in the same way will know, can actually make the genitals go numb and reduce the feeling to zero.

Other consequences of continuous and unchanging stimulation are: having a quick orgasm or perceiving the touch as irritating or even painful.

To make this a rewarding experience, one that the person receiving the pleasure wishes to repeat, it is necessary to make sure that you don’t stimulate their genitals so much that they go numb or feel irritated.

When you’re actually taking your sexual partner through a series of peaks, you’re stopping or you’re changing the way that you’re stimulating them just before they go over the top into their full orgasm.

Video – male masturbation techniques

 Doing this repeatedly allows their arousal and their pleasure to build higher than it would do if you simply took them straight to orgasm from a standing start.

And there are various ways to do it: first of all, by using a steady rhythmic stroke on the most sensitive part of their genitals, you can raise their sexual arousal. And every time you take a break, perhaps moving your hand from the body altogether, or just slowing down what you’re doing, or altering the stroke so that it is slower or lighter, their arousal will drop.

When you return to the steady stroke that you know arouses them, their arousal will go back up.

As the Bodanskys have said, the most important part of peaking somebody is your intention: your objective is to get the person’s sexual arousal as high as you possibly can. This is what will increase a man or woman’s pleasure the most.

They provide an example of how you might peak a woman. You bring her up to a high state of arousal with a short stroke on the most sensitive part of her clitoris, and then you peak her by dipping your finger down between her inner labia and gently running it around the vaginal entrance. You can use her natural lubrication to ease the passage of your finger slowly back up to her clitoris.

By having clear intention about what you’re trying to do you’ll find you can even use the same stroke to bring somebody up or down, although obviously there would be subtle differences in how you used it.

When you stop using the same stroke, or you quit stroking altogether, just before your sexual partner is ready to go over the top, your disciplined intention puts you in control of their orgasm.

And you’re also ensuring that you actually do this in a way that doesn’t put any stress and strain on either of you: for example, you’re taking enough breaks to make it comfortable for you both.

 And this is very necessary because breaks provide you with the opportunity to discuss things with your partner and ask questions about their experience. Not only that, but they can also help you to take your partner higher when you begin stimulating them once more.

So how long would you wait before starting to stimulate your partner after a break so that they go back up in another ascending approach towards orgasm?

Extended pleasuring video for women

Well, it depends how you feel, because there’s no simple answer to that question. It’s more or less up to you to decide so as to ensure you have control of your partner’s peaking.

For example, if the person receiving the pleasure is getting off really well, you might only want to pause very briefly before you continue to bring them up to higher levels of arousal.

Occasionally you may find that a woman waits until the last peak before she actually starts to orgasm. There are ways to sidestep her resistance, such as telling her that the next peak is going to be the final one, but then pausing briefly, before taking her to an even higher peak.

This unexpected twist will let her see that you are in control and you know what you’re doing, and it can be a way of encouraging her to relinquish her self-control to you so that she can relax into a great orgasm.

It must be obvious to you by now that knowing when to peak, when to pause, and when to start stimulating a person again are actually crucial to achieving a final great orgasm. The question you might have on your mind at the moment is how you actually work out when to do all these things.

Extended pleasuring video for men

The answer, in brief, is that you must have confidence in yourself and you’ll develop an intuitive sense of what to do and when to do it. One of things that assist this is the art of good communication that we mentioned earlier; another is the fact that you have your full attention on your partner.

When you have your full attention on your partner, you’ll be able to know if they’re going up or down, and the signs of female orgasm that come from their body about how close to orgasm (men) or how far away from orgasm they are, will give you a clue about what to do next.

That’s why it’s important to focus on your partner, and not on the mechanics of what you’re doing; when you start out practicing extended orgasm, you might want to spend a lot of time paying attention to what you’re doing, but it will soon become second nature, and you’ll be able to judge when to apply more pressure, went to ease off, and when to stop altogether with a fine level of intuition.

If you’re actually wondering whether to stop and take a break, it’s always a good idea to at least pause for a moment.

And, as always, feeding back your experience about what’s happening to your partner is very useful: you might say, for example, “I can feel your arousal going up,” or “you’re still going up,” and then, when you don’t feel your partner’s arousal increasing, you can mention that too: “have you gone away for a moment? try and to focus on what we’re doing here.”

But bear in mind that anything you say which comes across as negative or critical will instantly take him or her out of the extended orgasm experience, so you need to choose your words carefully.

You’ll also get a fine sense of where things are by paying attention to the feelings in your fingers and hands. If this feels pleasurable and strong, you’ll know that the arousal in your partner is going up; if it feels less pleasurable or the sensation decreases, you’ll know that they’re going down.

And the same may be true of your own sexual arousal which tends to follow the arousal of the person you’re pleasuring. Certainly, if your arousal begins to drop, it’s almost guaranteed that their arousal is dropping as well.

In addition, there are certain visual clues which you can use to tell how aroused a person is: you might have noticed how a man’s penis becomes even harder and the head of his penis becomes extremely swollen, engorged and deep red in color just before he ejaculates.

This is akin to the change in color that a woman experiences in her labia just before she reaches orgasm; indeed, a woman whose labia do not change color quite markedly is very unlikely to reach orgasm.

If you find that your attention has moved away from your partner or their orgasm and onto your own experience, in other words, you’re thinking about what you’re doing, then it’s time to take a break and talk to your partner.

You can re-establish connection by telling them that you felt they were “going away”, or that you were going away, and asking them what they were thinking about.

Doing this allows you to regain control of the situation by getting some agreement between you and your partner about what’s happening, and sharing the experiences which you’re having.

It’s a technique for getting back in control and re-establishing the confidence of your partner in you as the person who can take them to an extended orgasm. In this context, peaking also demonstrates that you have a fine degree of control of the situation, and this will also increase your partner’s confidence in your ability to take them to extended orgasm. You are effectively stopping the stimulation before they tip over into an orgasmic crescendo.

For men with premature ejaculation, this can be a useful way of learning to last longer in bed. Above all, as we mentioned before, do not blame your partner for anything that is happening or speak negatively to them, because this will destroy trust, and with it the chances of an extended orgasm.

For men with delayed ejaculation, an energy orgasm can be extremely helpful in reaching orgasm without worrying about the possibility (or otherwise) of ejaculation. The following videos are very useful here: this one explains delayed ejaculation and this one offers more on the definition of delayed ejaculation.

You’ll find that as you get more experience with this you can hold somebody on the edge of orgasm for quite some time without them tipping over into their orgasmic crescendo.

This is one of the most rewarding things to be able to do, and gets easier with practice and experience.

When you have that level of ability you’ll probably want to hold longer sessions lasting thirty minutes or more, but in the beginning its probably useful to limit the time of a session to ten or fifteen minutes. One of problems with long periods of time is that both parties in the experience can “space out” and lose their attention on what’s happening.

So finally, let’s just quickly review the signs of orgasm, so that you can tell when somebody is getting off or has got off.

The easiest way of telling when a woman has reached orgasm is to feel the contractions around the opening of her vagina and anus.

She may also experience a wave of muscular contractions passing across her abdominal area; this is an involuntary process, not one that is under her control, and is called ridging.

She may ejaculate fluid from her vagina, or she may not. You’ll probably feel some difference in the energy of the finger that you used to stimulate her: some change in the level of energy transfer between you may indicate she’s reached orgasm.

You may even feel the sensation of energy passing from her clitoris into your finger or energy moving in the opposite direction.

There are many signs of orgasm, not all of them experienced by every individual, but some of them are consistent within one individual and you’ll learn to recognize them as you get more familiar with your sexual partner’s experience of orgasm. And the signs of orgasm in men are similar, which may be useful if he is choosing not to come so fast.

She might make some sounds that seem familiar to you when she reaches orgasm – something like a moaning sound. She may become flushed with blood on her face, neck and chest, and her nipples may become erect. Her heart rate and breathing may increase, and finally her fingers and toes may spread or curl.

This entry was posted in extended orgasm and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.